


haikyuu angst week 2020

by moonsficss



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, dont cry pls, i do this instead of art bc im not motivated to draw, this is gonna hurt me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 08:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonsficss/pseuds/moonsficss
Summary: these are all short fanfics dedicated to haikyuu angst week 2020, every day another topic. 1Nov - 7Novchapter 1: KageHina - When did it all change?chapter 2: UshiTen - Was I ever enough?chapter 3: BokuAka - I can't lose you toochapter 4: IwaOi - You promised to staychapter 5: KuroKen - Who said love couldn't kill?chapter 6: EnnoTana - No regretschapter 7: DaiSuga - It hurts to say goodbye to someone you love
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 46
Kudos: 114
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	1. When did it all change?

**Author's Note:**

> since i really wanted to participate in Haikyuu Angst Week 2020 and i don't have the motivation to draw, i decided to do it with short fanfictions (one-shots)  
> some of the fics will have trigger warnings, so if youre not comfortable with those please dont read them:)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day one! here we go lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is KageHina! i know hinata is shipped with a lot of people but i prefer this ship the most (im basic lmao)  
> !!slight TW!! cheating, couple arguing

_"I hate this. I'm fucking done. I'm getting my stuff and leaving,"_ he shouted. 

The orange haired boy froze. He didn't expect this. Sure, Kageyama has shouted at him a lot in the past few weeks, but he didn't expect him to leave. 

_"I-If it makes you happy, T-Tobio..."_

Kageyama didn't say anything and turned around. He picked up his - apparently already packed - bag and slammed the front door of their apartment behind him. Hinata just stood there. His legs wouldn't move. He was hungry and thirsty, but he didn't care about that. He fell down on his knees, and soon enough hot tears streamed down his cheeks. He didn't know what to do.

Kageyama changed.

He never shouted at Hinata before. Not until 4 weeks ago.

He came home after working late for the umpteenth time that week, and Hinata greeted him while he was cooking dinner. _"Hey, Tobio! How was work?"_ He said nothing and immediately threw his bag on the floor. 

_"Are you okay, Kags? You usually greet me ba-"_

_"Can you shut up?"_

Hinata startled at these words, but turned back to cooking dinner. _What could've happened that he is like this?_ he thought to himself. _It's probably nothing..._ He turned off the stove, and put the food on the plates. "Dinner's ready, Tobio!" he shouted, but he didn't get a reaction. He took the plates and put them on the dining table.

"You coming, Kags?"

"Mhm."

Hinata was surprised Kageyama didn't say anything besides that. He shrugged, and tried to ignore it.

Dinner was quiet as well. Hinata tried to start a conversation, but Kageyama ignored him. Hinata figured he must've had a bad day or something.

Unfortunately it wasn't just that

Kageyama's behavior worsened every day, reacting curtly at Hinata's attempts to making him feel better, and sometimes shouting at him.

Sometimes turned into regularly.

And Hinata just didn't understand it.

Until a week ago.

Kageyama went to go shower, and he left his phone in the dining table. Hinata was sitting on the couch, reading a book. It distracted him from everything that has been happening the past few weeks. 

His concentration was disturbed by Kageyama's phone ringing. He looked up, and saw an unfamiliar name displayed on the screen.

_Ayumi_

Curious, he picked up the still ringing phone, and he answered it. Before he could ask who it was, he heard a girls' voice.

_"Tobio-chan! When do you wanna go on our next date?"_

Hinata froze, and he didn't realize he dropped the phone on the floor. 

_"Tobio? Are you there? Is something wrong?"_

Trembling, Hinata picked up the phone from the floor. "Who is this?"

_"Oh come on! Are you playing tricks on me? Don't you remember your girlfriends' name?"_

Girlfriend?

"T-This is H-Hinata Shoyo... I'm Kageyama's boyfriend..."

It was silent.

_"O-Oh... I'm so sorry! Why did that bastard never tell me? Geez, I'll give you some time... Again I'm so sorry, I'll break up with him as soon as I talk to him, I don't want a cheater as my boyfriend."_

She hung up. Hinata stared at the phone with a blank face. He was so deep in thought he didn't hear the bathroom door open and Kageyama walking into the living room.

_"Oi, boke! What the fuck are you doing with my phone? You don't have permission to look through it, do you?"_

Then something snapped inside of Hinata. He stood up and threw the phone at Kageyama. 

_"WHAT AM I DOING? WELL I'LL FUCKING TELL YOU WHAT I WAS DOING. SOME RANDOM NAME POPPED UP ON YOUR PHONE SCREEN, AND I THOUGHT, HM, LET'S SEE WHO THAT COULD BE. TURNS OUT YOUR FUCKING CHEATING ON ME!"_

Kageyama froze.

_"WELL? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY HUH? YOU CAN'T DENY IT, SHE ADMITTED IT HERSELF. AND THE FUN PART, SHE'S GOING TO BREAK UP WITH YOU SOON!"_

Hinata started crying. So many emotions rushed through his body. Anger, sadness, betrayal... He couldn't control it.

Then finally, Kageyama spoke. 

"B-Boke... I'm sorry... It's just... things have been rough at work... and she helped me out. A-And one night... I drank a little too much... And apparently I asked her on a date... She didn't know I had a boyfriend so she said yes... It was a stupid fucking mistake and I don't understand why I did it... I'm sorry, Shoyo..."

Hinata was shocked when he saw tears streaming down Kageyama's face. Kageyama never cried. He rushed to him, and hugged him tightly.

"I-I forgive you... but don't do it again, promise...?"

"P-Promise..."

Hinata thought he heard a slight doubt in his voice, but he ignored it.

The week after didn't go as Hinata hoped it went. 

Kageyama couldn't control his anger and frustration and kept shouting at Hinata like before. Hinata regularly ended up just going to bed and crying himself to sleep.

 _It can't keep going like this,_ he thought to himself. 

Today Kageyama came back calling someone.

Hinata guessed he didn't realize his phone was on speaker, and that he didn't realize Hinata was in the hallway cleaning.

_"I'll see you on Sunday then, Tobio-chan!"_

_"Yes, see you then. Can't wait."_

He hung up, and looked up to see a confused Hinata.

"Sup, boke."

Hinata didn't move. 

"What's the matter?" 

Hinata flinched, and grabbed Kageyama by his collar.

_"What's the matter?! I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU. I HEARD WHO YOU WERE TALKING TO. I WAS IN THE HALLWAY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME!"_

Kageyama just walked away to their room. He didn't come back for 15 minutes, and Hinata wondered what he was doing in there.

After 15 minutes the door opened, and Kageyama was carrying a bag.

_"I hate this. I'm fucking done. I'm getting my stuff and leaving," he shouted._

_The orange haired boy froze. He didn't expect this. Sure, Kageyama has shouted at him a lot in the past few weeks, but he didn't expect him to leave._

_"I-If it makes you happy, T-Tobio..."_

_Kageyama didn't say anything and turned around. He picked up his already packed bag and slammed the front door of their apartment behind him. Hinata just stood there. His legs wouldn't move. He was hungry and thirsty, but he didn't care about that. He fell down on his knees, and soon enough hot tears streamed down his cheeks. He didn't know what to do._

_"What happened with us?"_ _he screamed, crying in frustration."When did we change? Why did we change?_ **_When did it all change?"_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank youu for reading this first chapter! ill upload the rest ASAP!!<3


	2. Was I ever enough?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day/chapter 2 of haikyuu angst week: ushiten :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its ushiten time! :') they are my comfort ship so uh wish me luck ig lol

It's been a year since Tendou saw Ushijima for the last time.

 _I wonder what he's doing right now,_ Tendou thought to himself. _He's probably playing volleyball, knowing Wakatoshi. He's too focused on volleyball to be in a relationship, after all._

He picked up a chocolate from the counter. It was in the shape of a volleyball, which reminded him of his past boyfriend, made by Tendou himself. He has been a chocolatier for 2 years, and his little shop did really well. People loved his chocolate, and some of his customers would pass by every week to talk to him for a bit and buy chocolates. Tendou remembered all of their names. He really appreciated the little gestures, because it made him feel like he mattered. He has difficulties with feeling mattered. The only person who could make him feel like he mattered was Wakatoshi, but now that he's gone, it made him feel more insecure.

Tendou and Ushijima had been friends for 3 years, maybe 4. Tendou was happy with a person like Ushijima. He felt like he was finally accepted for the first time. Only Ushijima knew he was really insecure about himself, after all. He was very good at hiding it, though. He was always happy and smiling during practice, but when he and Ushijima went home he would ramble about the things that went 'wrong' that day, according to him

Ushijima didn't realize it, but he always knew how to cheer Tendou up. He would put a hand on his shoulder, and say things like, _Satori, you shouldn't look down on yourself so much, in my opinion, you didn't do anything wrong today._ That's one of the main reasons Tendou asked him on a date. Only he knew how to make Tendou feel good about himself. 

He helped him forget about the kids that bullied him when he was a child. He would tell him that he wasn't the monster they told him he was, and that he was the best and first real friend he ever had in his life.

He would scold the people that looked weird at them when they went on their first date. Not in a mean way, but just giving them a quick glare was enough to chase them away. And if that didn't help, he would walk up to them and tell them to go somewhere else instead of interrupting their date.

To Tendous surprise, Ushijima was also the first one to make a serious move. He was the one who asked Tendou to be his boyfriend. Of course, Tendou agreed, it felt like a new world opened to him. He felt like he was dreaming. It was the first time someone had ever asked him to be his boyfriend. And as soon as Tendou got home he screamed out of happiness.

Soon enough they told their team, and they were really supportive and happy for them. Not that Tendou had expected anything else, almost their whole team was dating each other, and they had rooted for Tendou to ask Ushi out. "Fucking finally! Took you long enough, Satori," Semi had said, and everyone had burst out laughing.

Their relationship went well. Ushijima learned how to open up more, and Tendou learned how to deal with his insecurities. Life has never been better.

But then came graduation.

Tendou knew Ushijima was more focused on volleyball than anything else. Of course, he made time for Tendou, but they still ended up practicing a lot. Tendou also knew that after graduation, Ushijima would continue to play, unlike him. He knew what kind of person Ushijima was. If he wanted to go for something, he was going all in.

Soon enough, Ushijima came with the good news that he was accepted in the Japan National team. Of course, Tendou was happy for him. In fact, he was very proud of his boyfriends' accomplishment. He knew like no other how much he wanted to play in a professional team. But this also meant that Ushijima and Tendou wouldn't see each other as much as they used to.

Tendou would watch all Ushijima's matches on TV when he could, and he felt so proud to call this talented person his boyfriend, even though they didn't see each other that much anymore. That's the only thing that made Tendous heart slightly break, piece by piece. He just didn't realize it yet.

A short while after that, Ushijima called him to tell him he made it into Schweiden Adlers, a professional team in Division 1 of Japan's V-League. Once again, Tendou praised him and told him he was very proud of him, but on the other hand he was sad, because this meant he would see him even less than before.

One night, Tendou was sitting on the couch, watching something on TV, when his phone went off. It was Ushijima. He grabbed his phone from the table and picked up.

_"Wakatoshi-kun! It's been a while, how's it going?"_

_"I am fine, Tendou. I called you because I need to tell you something. You might not like it."_

Tendous smile faded away slightly. Ushijima sounded very serious.

_"Sure, what is it?"_

_"We don't see each other as much as we used to, and we don't have the same bond as we used to have back in high school. So I have a feeling that's it's better if we break up."_

Tendou froze when he heard these words. He could hear a slight tone of sadness in Ushijima's voice, but he knew he was serious.

_"I-I could come and visit you more! If that would make you feel better..."_

_"It's not about me, Satori. It's about us, our relationship. It's not working if we're not the same as we used to be."_

Tendous lips quivered. He felt like his world shattered in front of him.

_"If you think this is the best decision, I'll have to deal with it, Wakatoshi. I want you to be happy. I want you to be successfull. You don't need me to accomplish that."_

Ushijima stayed silent for a bit.

_"Don't say such nonsense, Tendou."_

It almost sounded like an order.

_"You're not the problem, Satori, and I've told you multiple times."_

Now Tendou was the one who didn't know what to say.

_"Are you sure I've been enough for you, Wakatoshi?"_

_"You're more than enough. I don't know what I should've done without you."_

_I love you,_ is what Tendou wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him how proud he was, how much it had meant to him. But he couldn't. He knew it would just break him more. So he kept it to himself.

_"I'll see you around, Wakatoshi."_

_"Yes, I'll make sure that will happen. Goodbye for now, Satori."_

And he hung up. He buried his face in his hands, and felt tears slowly starting to stream down his cheeks. He looked at the pictures of them together on the cupboard. He felt like it was all his fault. He was too insecure, too needy, too clingy. 

_He just felt like he had never been good enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that was chapter 2:) i hope u "enjoyed" (am i allowed to say it like that probably not oops)  
> see yall in chapter 3 lol imma try and do meth :')


	3. I can't lose you too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we're back at it again: day 3 of haikyuu angst week: photographs/defeat/i can't lose this/you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello we're back at it again with more angst with m00nn and haikyuu  
> chapter 3 is BokuAka :)  
> !!TW!! mentions of homophobia, (slight) violence/abuse, (slight mentions of) drinking problem

_"Go pack your stuff. You're out."_

Akaashi's mother yelled, almost screamed, and slapped Akaashi in his face. He felt his shoulders shock, and a single tear fell down his cheek. It was hopeless. He trusted his mother. He side-eyed his boyfriend, who looked at him with a concerned look on his face. Akaashi made a small gesture with his hand. _I'll be okay. Don't worry about me._

Akaashi had been dating Bokuto for around half a year now, but he never told his mother. He didn't have to worry about his dad, he was barely around. He couldn't even call him his dad anymore. He never mentioned anything about being gay to his mother, she was never in a good mood anyway. But Bokuto convinced him he should probably tell her, and that he would be here for him if it didn't go well.

And so he did. And it didn't go as expected. 

He knew his mother wasn't the biggest LGBTQ+ supporter, but he didn't expect her to have this kind of reaction. Especially not her slapping him. _She probably drank too much again,_ Akaashi thought to himself. Since his mother lost her job, she had been sitting at home, drinking alcohol and doing nothing.

Akaashi felt lightheaded and dizzy. His legs were shaking, and he felt him hands looking for Bokuto to hold on to. Luckily, his boyfriend was right behind him, and he grabbed his waist. Akaashi stayed silent. He didn't know how to react to his mothers' words.

_"If it's really that much of a problem to you, miss Akaashi, then I'll take him with me."_

Akaashi looked up, surprised. A slight smile appeared on his face when he realized Bokuto was the one who said that. 

"Go and pack your bags, Keiji. We're leaving. Immediately."

Akaashi nodded, and rushed to his room to pack his bags. He picked out some of his favourite clothes and shoes, underwear and some jewelry which used to be his dads'. He looked around to see if he had forgotten anything. His eyes landed on a picture which stood on his nightstand. He picked it up, and smiled. It was a picture made on their second date, when Bokuto had asked him to be his boyfriend. Akaashi put it in his bag. He wanted to keep this.

Their first months living together went great. Bokuto's parents accepted Akaashi and Bokuto's relationship, and agreed with him moving in with them. Akaashi liked Bokuto's parents. They treated Akaashi like he was their own son, and he finally felt like he was in a loved household again. Of course, Bokuto was very excited that Akaashi lived with them now. And to be honest, Akaashi was really grateful for such a caring boyfriend like Bokuto.

But you know what they say.

_All good things come to an end._

And that's exactly what Akaashi forgot about.

It was Bokuto's birthday, and Bokuto had called Akaashi into his room. He needed to tell something, and he sounded very serious. And if Bokuto sounded serious, it was serious.

Akaashi still remembered the day like it was yesterday. The day his heart broke into a million pieces.

Bokuto was moving to Brazil.

His father had found a really well-paid job, and this was his only opportunity for this specific job. But that meant they all had to move away, to Rio de Janeiro.

When Akaashi heard these words, his heart shattered. He felt his world fade away. Of course, he was happy for Bokuto's family. But that was not what was on his mind right now. He couldn't lose Bokuto too...

_"I'm sorry, Keiji... I don't want to go, either."_

_"I..."_

Muffled sobs left Akaashi's mouth.

_"I can't lose you too, Koutarou..."_

That was exactly one year ago.

Akaashi had to move back in with his mother. Even though he didn't want to, it was his only option.

It's 3am, and Akaashi can't sleep. He keeps thinking of Bokuto. _It's his birthday today,_ Akaashi thought to himself. He turned around, and lay on his side, facing his nightstand. He looked up a little, seeing the familiar picture frame.

_The picture made on their second date, when Bokuto asked him to be his boyfriend._

Akaashi sighed. He missed him. They had lost contact, and Akaashi wondered how he was doing. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and looked at their last text messages. 

**[ March 20, 12:01am ]**

_I hope you're doing well over there. I miss you._

_Read 8:34am_

He looked back at the picture on his nightstand.

_"Happy birthday, Koutarou..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again thank you for reading! im gonna say that a lot these days oops...  
> n e wayz this was another hurtful chapter :D dont yall love angst week:)))
> 
> *edit* i just realized i put happy birthday on the 20 march text lmao so i changed that real quick lol


	4. You promised to stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its day 4 already! broken promises/illness/death/i wish this never happened/i wish i never met you  
> today iwaoi, bc iwaoi angst hits different ngl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aahhh i wanted to update sooner but my school decided to kill me with a physics test >:( and honestly i have more inspiration in the evening  
> idk when i will upload chapter 5 because i have extra math lessons tomorrow so yeah that, wish me luck ig lmao
> 
> !!TW!! character death, (slight mentions of) blood

_"Good luck with your surgery, Iwa-chan..."_ Oikawa whispered, tears slowly welling up in his eyes, but still having a smile on his face.

Oikawa grabbed his boyfriends' hand and squeezed it tightly. Iwaizumi slightly tilted his head and blinked 2 times, which meant _Thank you, I promise I'll make it._ Oikawa gave him a kiss on his hand, which could probably be the last one. The nurse tapped him on his shoulder, indicating that he had to go to the waiting room. He slowly let go of his Iwaizumi's hand, and watched him as he was being wheeled away to the surgery rooms.

Iwaizumi suffered from Stage 4 lung cancer. Unfortunately, there was no cure, but the doctors had told him he could be treated for it and learn to live with it. He had been in the hospital for god knows how long, Oikawa didn't even remember anymore. He lived more at the hospital than at their apartment, it felt empty without Iwaizumi being around him. He had moved all their memorable stuff to the hospital. And that was lot of stuff. But there was one specific thing Oikawa wanted to keep to himself.

It was their engagement ring. It was silver with a small diamond, and Oikawa always carried it around, whether that was on his right ring finger or in the small black box which he always kept in his pocket. 

It had been a sunny spring day, and Oikawa had insisted to go on a date, because 'it had been too long'. To his surprise, Iwaizumi had almost immediately agreed, and Oikawa could tell there was something going on, so when they had arrived at the certain spot Iwaizumi told him he wanted to go, he was shocked when Iwaizumi kneeled down on one knee and had pulled out a small, black box. Oikawa had slapped a hand over his mouth when he saw a ring inside the box, and he didn't realize he had started tearing up, too.

_"Oikawa Tooru, the love of my life, will you promise to stay by each other's side forever, no matter what will happen?"_

Oikawa had yelled out 'YES!' and had thrown himself at his - now - fiancé. He had felt tears of joy streaming down his face as Iwaizumi put the ring on Oikawa's finger, and then put his arms around his neck and kissed him. It had been the best day of his life.

But the joy this had brought into his life didn't last long.

Iwaizumi hadn't been feeling well lately. Constantly coughing, being short on breath, having a hoarse voice and in worst cases sometimes even coughing up blood. It had worsened in the past week, and Oikawa had insisted Iwaizumi payed a visit to the doctor.

They had referred him to the hospital, where they did some tests on him to see what it could be. Oikawa had hoped it was nothing, that he just wasn't feeling well and he just needed some time to recover

But it wasn't as innocent as Oikawa had hoped it would be.

The nurses told them Iwaizumi had a deadly form of lung cancer, which couldn't be cured. Oikawa hadn't believed his ears, and Iwaizumi wasn't taking it well either. He had hugged his fiancé from behind, saying it would be okay and that they would find a treatment so they could still live their happy life together.

Unfortunately Iwaizumi's condition worsened quicker than expected, and soon enough he had to be permanently hospitalized. He went through a lot of chemo's and surgeries, but they didn't seem to help, and in 4 months time his cancer had worsened from Stage 1 to Stage 4. The doctors figured it had to be a form of SCLC, a type of fast-growing cancer that starts out small but can grow extremely fast with death often occurring within 6 months when no treatment is received.

So in order to give Iwaizumi the treatment he needed to survive, they had to perform a surgery as soon as possible. And that happened to be today, exactly 6 months after Iwaizumi had been diagnosed.

Oikawa was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital when a doctor walked up to him.

_"How did it go? Is he okay? Please tell me he is okay!"_

The doctor sighed, and Oikawa could already see on the expression on his face that he didn't have good news, but he convinced himself he was just imagining it. _Iwa is fine,_ he thought to himself.

"I have bad news for you, sir. Your fiancé didn't make it through the surgery alive..."

The doctor rattled on about what had happened, but Oikawa couldn't make out the words. His whole world was a blur. He fell down on the ground, and screamed out of frustration. People stared at him, but he didn't care. He needed to let his feelings out, hoping Iwaizumi somehow could hear him.

_"You promised we would stay by each other's side forever, no matter what... What happened to that promise? Why did you break that promise?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you can see i love hurting the bottoms  
> anyways its again late in the evening and i should sleep but i need to finish this hnnnggghh   
> as i already mentioned idk when ill be updating chapter 5 bc sChOoL >:(


	5. Who said love couldn't kill?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day 5 of haikyuu angst week has come: realizations/hanahaki/star disease/"did you ever love me?"  
> ..aandd today's ship is kuroken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> were back at it again with the angst lol, this time kuroken! this is gonna hurt me bc im a kenma kinnie myself, so we'll see what happens 
> 
> !!TW!! death, blood
> 
> (probably good to know, roses are kuroo's favourite flower in this AU)

_The disease of unrequited love._

Kenma stared at the sentence that popped up on his computer screen when he looked up his symptoms. Unrequited love? He wondered what was meant by that. Kenma's deep thoughts were cut off by him choking on something. His coughing became worse and worse, and eventually a few small rose petals fell out of his mouth. His eyes grew wide at the sight, and he felt his breathing become heavier.

_Am I sick? What is happening to me?_

He choked on something again, and started coughing up even more rose petals. He felt like his lungs had been sewn shut. His heart started racing. Kenma didn't know that his heart could beat this fast. He panicked, not knowing what to do. He got up and lay down on his bed, and fell asleep as soon as he touched his pillow.

The next day he didn't come to school. He felt like he was on fire and was constantly gasping for air. The coughing became worse, and sometimes coughing turned into vomiting flowers and blood. It felt like his throat was being tightened. He had told his teammates he wasn't going to practice because he had a fever and a cough, but he didn't tell them about the rose petals.

Kenma was playing a video game when he heard a knock on the door of his dorm.

"Who's that? I'm sick, y'know."

"Kenma, calm down, it's just me!"

The familiar voice made Kenma look up from his game, and he stood up to open his dorm door, to see the taller, black-haired rooster head standing there. 

"Practice just finished, and I thought, might as well drop by to check op on you. How's your fever, pudding head?"

"I still feel like crap. And stop calling me pudding h-" He was cut off by a cough. And another. And another. He rushed to the bathroom, locked the door and threw himself on the ground, watching little rose petals fall down from his mouth. He held his hand in front of his mouth to capture them. Some of them were slightly covered in blood.

"Kozume? You OK in there?"

"I-I'm f-fine... just nauseous..." He heard himself stutter, knowing he didn't sound convincing.

"Oh okay, well I'll let you rest... I hope you're feeling better tomorrow." He heard Kuroo walk away and close the door behind him. Kenma sat on the ground, face buried in his hands. His throat was burning like hell. It was hurting so bad. His coughs haven't been this bad before. He got up, unlocked his bathroom door and made his way to his bedroom. He fell onto the bed, and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. One unread message from Kuroo.

 **Kuroo - May 7th - 6:35pm  
** _Hey, I hope you're doing okay. Get some rest, will you? And don't stay up all night playing games, pudding head ;)_

Kenma smiled slightly and turned off his phone. _Idiot,_ he thought to himself, _you worry too much._

2 weeks had passed and Kenma's fevers and coughing attacks didn't get any better. Rather, they got worse. And Kenma thought it couldn't get any worse. He was more inside of his room than outside of it, coughing up small petals every 10 minutes or so. If he had kept all of them, he could've made a floral wreath out of them.

Kuroo didn't visit him anymore, he knew he wouldn't even see Kenma when he visited, because Kenma would always immediately rush to the bathroom because he was 'nauseous'. Kenma felt bad that Kuroo didn't get to see him anymore, but he thought it was for the best. He knew Kuroo couldn't bear seeing him at his worst, so he wanted to save him the effort and told him he was fine. Even though he wasn't.

Kuroo would still text him, though. They talked almost every day, and Kenma could notice how worried Kuroo was in the way he texted him. He got around 20 notifications every five minutes from Kuroo, asking him if he had eaten already and if he got enough rest so he would get better soon.

But after a week this sea of messages suddenly stopped.

Kenma was confused at first, but he thought Kuroo must've been busy with school and didn't get too text him because of that. Exams were coming up, so that was a good possibility. 

2 days without notifications turned into a week, and Kenma started getting worried.

 **Kenma - May 28th - 8:43pm _  
_**_Hey... I haven't been getting texts from you lately... are you OK?_

After 20 minutes he got a response

 **Kuroo - May 28th - 9:03pm** _  
__I'm sorry pudding... It's just... I've been seeing this boy, we've been on a couple dates, his names Tsukishima, and he plays volleyball at Karasuno high! I think... I might've fallen in love with him._

Kenma flinched. It felt like a knife was being stabbed in his heart. He started coughing again. Full-bloomed flowers fell onto his bedsheets, and he placed a hand on his chest, as if he expected it to help. His vision began to blur, and he started feeling dizzy.

He reread the message. And again. And again.

And then he finally understood it.

_Unrequired love..._

Tears started welling up Kenma's eyes. His room started spinning, and he felt himself choking and gasping for air, worsening every second, while coughing up clumps of rose petals and blood.

_Kuroo didn't love him. Not in that way. That's what it means. Unrequired love._

Then everything went black. 

_Hanahaki, the disease of unrequired love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAHHH this was hurtful but im kinda proud with the end result lol, ive never written about hanahaki disease before and to be honest its a really interesting subject to write about :)  
> so yeah that was that, tomorrow is day 6 already oh my god its going so fast


	6. No regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter 6 of haikyuu angst week! firsts and lasts/right person, wrong time/the worst thing, even after everything, is i still love you/i don't regret anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya im back at it again:)  
> this chapter is for ennotana! not a lot of people ship this and honestly i don't really mind, i just think theyre cute :)
> 
> CONTAINS SLIGHT MANGA SPOILERS!! :   
> (they're all one year older, 3rd year tanaka being the ace and 3rd year ennoshita being the captain)

"C'mon, Enno, you can't back out now!"

Ennoshita stared at the bottle in the middle of them, pointing at their ace, frozen in shock. No one from the team knew he had a crush on Tanaka, and now they had to kiss. _Great._ He scratched his head, stuttering.

"I-I... well... this is awkward... I-I'm sorry..."

 _Oh, come on, Chikara,_ he thought to himself, _it can't be that bad._

Tanaka started laughing about Ennoshita's awkwardness.

"Pfft- It's okay, it's just Spin the Bottle! And don't worry, I know you're bi but that doesn't make me uncomfortable."

Ennoshita looked down and nodded in response, surprised when he felt Tanaka's hand lift up his chin and look him in the eyes. Man, this was more intense than he thought it would be.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Noya, Kinoshita and Narita chanted together. The other 3rd years found it very amusing to watch Ennoshita and Tanaka being awkward together. 

_"Let's just get this over with..."_ Ennoshita whispered, and Tanaka pressed their lips together in response, surprising Ennoshita with the expected but still sudden move.

It felt good. Ennoshita knew it wasn't a genuine kiss but it felt good. Tanaka's lips were soft and warm, and the kiss was gentle and sweet. He was sad it didn't last longer. When Tanaka pulled away, they were both a blushing mess, and Ennoshita looked away in embarrassment. _Tanaka just stole my fucking first kiss. Oh my fucking god, my crush stole my first kiss._

"Lol, they actually did it!" Noya shouted, while Kinoshita and Narita started cheering. "Well fucking done. Didn't expect you to give in, Enno."

Ennoshita let out an embarrassed chuckle. "You and Narita kissed as well, Noya."

"But I'm dating Asahi and Narita's dating Kino, so we both know that it's just for the challenge!"

"We also did it just because it's a challenge!"

"Are you sure? To me it seemed like you enjoyed it~"

"Shut the fuck up you idiot." Ennoshita felt called out. Was it really that obvious? 

Nishinoya just burst out laughing. "I'm kidding. How about we go get meatbuns together?" They all nodded, and Tanaka jumped up in excitement. "Hell yeah! I'm hungry as fuck!" 

"Language, Ryuu," Ennoshita shouted, while he threw Tanaka's jacket in his direction. "Here, you don't want to catch a cold on a late winter evening."

"Okay, mom~" Tanaka said sarcastically, and Ennoshita rolled his eyes. _I can't believe I fell in love with this fucking idiot._

On their way to Ukai's store - which was still open at this time - they were just talking about what they were planning to do on weekends when Tanaka jumped in between them.

"Guys! Be honest, okay? I need advice."

"Well, you've came to the right person!" Noya said overly excited, holding up his hand for a high-five.

Tanaka high-fived back. "I really want to ask someone out, but I don't know how..."

Ennoshita's heart skipped a beat. "Who are you planning to ask out?"

Tanaka smirked. "I want to keep that a secret for now, I just need ideas on how to do it."

"Just straight up tell them! I did that with Asahi too!" Noya shouted, a proud expression on his face.

"That's easier said than done, what if they reject me?"

"Asahi didn't reject me either."

"Yeah, but it was so obvious he liked you bro! That made it much easier! I don't know if this certain person likes me back!"

Noya went silent for a second. "Well, you're right. Then I don't know bro, sorry."

"You could put a letter in their locker or something, say to meet up in a certain place, and give them like a rose or something to express your feelings..." Ennoshita suggested.

Tanaka gasped. "You're a genius, Chikara! I'll try it, I'm sure they'll fall for my charmes~"

Ennoshita shrugged. "It's what you call charmes. But you're welcome, good luck, man. I'm sure they'll say yes, you're a nice, enthausiastic and pretty handsome man." Oh god, did he really say that last sentence?

Tanaka just seemed to laugh it off. "Thanks, bro. I'll keep you guys updated. Now let's go get meatbuns, I'm starving!"

The next week, Ennoshita caught himself constantly checking his locker, hoping for a letter or a note. But there never came one. He just tried to forget about it, figuring Tanaka probably waited for the week after.

But the week after still yielded nothing. _It's probably some random girl, Ryuu's probably not even gay or bi,_ he thought as he brushed it off once again.

About 3 days later, Tanaka ran up to them excitingly at the beginning of practice. 

"Guess who asked Kiyoko out yesterday?"

Ennoshita's heart stopped for a split second. _Kiyoko? Their old team manager? No way._

Noya's eyes widened, as he jumped high in the air. "And? And?"

"She said yes!" Tanaka spun around, jumping in the air as well. Ennoshita's heart broke into a million pieces. Sure, he was happy for Tanaka, but this was not what he expected.

"Good job, Ryuu. Excuse me for a second." Ennoshita ran away to the changing rooms, where he let himself fall down on the floor, and he broke down in tears.

After 15 minutes there was a knock on the door.

"Huh? Who's there?" Ennoshita asked, sniffling.

The door opened, and Tanaka walked in. _Amazing, now he'll see I've been crying for the past 15 minutes in here._

"Chikara? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Ennoshita broke down in tears again. He had to say it. He couldn't keep it a secret anymore.

 _"Wasn't it obvious? I wanted you. I still want you. I want you to be mine. Forever. But you don't want me..."_ he shouted, tears rolling down his face. Tanaka flinched, clearly shocked at what he just heard, not knowing how to respond to Ennoshita's sudden confession.

 _"The kiss during Spin the Bottle a few weeks ago..."_ Ennoshita paused.

"W-what's with it...?"

_"I-I... regretted nothing..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!MANGA SPOILER: (yes ik tanaka is canonly married to kiyoko i just love this ship bc its gay, i also ship kiyoyachi more oops)


	7. It hurts to say goodbye to someone you love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the last day has come: day 7: goodbyes/anime/manga scene/free day
> 
> HEHE SURPRISE: +BONUS: tears/sacrifice/has it always been this silent?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7 surprise yall, i decided to combine the prompts of day 7 and the bonus >:) so have gun dying ig  
> dw im gonna die too, i love daisuga :')  
> and for sOME REASON I MANAGED TO CLICK AWAY GOOGLE WHEN I WAS HALFWAY DONE SO I HAD TO REWRITE IT ALL AAA I HATE MYSELF
> 
> !!TW: death/sacrifice, shootings

Suga turned around and opened his eyes to look at his alarm clock. Shocked at the time, he jumped out of bed and raced to the bathroom. _Fuck, I overslept, Daichi will be here in 20 minutes, I'll have to hurry._ He splashed some water in his face and brushed his teeth, and then ran back to his room to put on clothes and get his sports bag.

When he came downstairs, his mom had already made breakfast. He grabbed it from the counter, shouted a quick 'bye mom, love you' and ran through the front door. Daichi was already standing outside of his house. 

"I'm sorry I'm a little late, I overslept, let's go to school for morning practice." 

Daichi laughed. "You're just 5 minutes late, don't even worry about it, it happens sometimes," he said, and kissed Suga on his forehead.

Daichi and Suga had been dating for a while now. Their teammates couldn't bear to see the two during practice not realizing their feelings for each other, so the first years basically forced Suga to confess to Daichi. So the next week - on Valentines Day - Suga came to practice with a Valentines card and a box of chocolates, surprised to see Daichi standing there with a bouquet of roses. Apparently, the third years and second years had told Daichi to confess to Suga as well, and they had this double confession all planned out already.

"So i guess we had the same idea, huh?" Daichi said, scratching the back of his head awkwardly, giving Suga the bouquet of roses.

"Yeah... well... the first years basically forced me to..." Suga answered, handing Daichi the postcard and chocolates.

"Perhaps we can talk this out in private after school." Daichi suggested, and Suga agreed. So after practice, they both went to Suga's house together to discuss and talk everything out.

_"Well... that was confu-"_

_"Is it true?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Is it true that you really like me that way, or did the first years just dare you to do it, and nothing more?"_

Suga's eyes widened, and he grabbed Daichi's hands, looking him deep into his eyes.

_"Do you really think I would joke about something like this?"_

Daichi shook his head. _"No..."_

_"Then don't say such nonsense! Of course I like you!"_

Realizing at what he just said, Suga looked down in an attempt to hide his beet red face. He wanted to know if Daichi felt the same. But he was too scared to ask. 

_"S-so... D-do you-"_

Suga was cut off by Daichi kissing him. Surprised at the sudden move, Suga flinched for a second, but soon enough he relaxed and went along with it. When they both pulled away, Suga laughed when he saw Daichi was now a blushing mess.

 _"Well, I guess I have my answer..."_

Suga grabbed his laptop and fell down on his bed, Daichi doing the same. "Wanna watch something together?" 

Daichi nodded, and Suga started Netflix. "They uploaded a new romcom on Netflix recently, you okay with that?"

"As long as you like it."

"Gosh, you're such a gentleman~" Suga cuddled up into Daichi's arms, starting the movie.

"You comfortable?" Daichi asked after a while, but the sleeping silver-haired boy in his arms said enough.

Suga didn't realize he grinned at the thought of that day. "What's so funny?" Daichi asked, and Suga looked up.

"Oh, I just remembered the day we confessed to each other, it always makes me smile."

Daichi laughed. "That's something which always makes me smile, too," he said, giving Suga another kiss. 

"Get a room, lovebirds!" they heard a familiar voice shout in the distance, and they saw Noya and Tanaka standing in front of the gym door. "You two are later than usual."

"Sorry, I overslept," Suga explained, and looked at Daichi. "You got the keys?"

He nodded. "Yep, now let's wait for the others, and then get to practice. It won't be for too long, since we all have exams today."

After practice, Suga and Daichi both walked to their class together for their first test. It was Math, a subject Suga was quite good at, so he didn't really mind it. He took his seat, and signed a quick 'good luck' in Daichi's direction, and he did the same. 

Halfway into their test, Suga's concentration was interrupted by screaming in the hallways. He looked up from his paper, seeing everyone whispering restlessly with each other, and the teacher walking around nervously. The whispering was quickly interrupted by an announcement trough the school speakers.

_"Attention everyone, this is not a drill. A school shooter has been signaled, so everyone hide under your table and try to stay as quiet as possible, and don't move."_

A few girls gasped loudly as the lights went out, and Suga ran up to Daichi and grabbed his hand, and as soon as Daichi pushed them both under the table, he slowly started to cry. 

"I hope the rest of our team will be okay..." he whispered, sobbing quietly, and he buried his face into Daichi's chest. Daichi put his hand on the back of Suga's head, attempting to comfort him. _"They'll be okay, I'm sure they'll be okay."_

The quiet sobs from some of the students were interrupted by the door bursting open. A few people screamed, the teacher demanded everyone to calm down, but nothing helped, especially not when a couple gun shots were fired. 

"D-Daichi... I-I'm scared..." Suga cried, not realizing Daichi's entire shirt was wet because of Suga's tears.

Daichi didn't know what to say, and just prayed that nothing would happen to his boyfriend.

"IS THERE ANYONE WHO GOES BY THE LAST NAME SUGAWARA IN THIS CLASS?" they heard an unfamiliar voice yell, and Suga stiffened. _Oh no,_ he thought, _this must be someone my dad had conflicts with in the past. I have to show myself._

He slowly stood up, but Daichi grabbed him by his sleeve. "What the hell are you doing?" he whispered. "Do you know how dangerous this person could possibly be?"

Suga said nothing, and stood up, walking to the middle of the classroom, while everyone watched in horror.

The other person standing in the middle of the classroom was unrecognizable, dressed in all black, wearing a mask. Suga stood up straight, his legs trembling. "What do you want from us?"

"Money." The person tapped the gun in his pocket. "Or else I'll have to use this."

Suga lost it. "WHY? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME AND MY FAMILY? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?"

They grabbed the gun from their pocket, and held it up against Suga's forehead. Suga froze in fear, and he felt tears stream down his face. 

"Your father took everything from me. So I'll guess I'll take the thing that means the most to him."

Suga closed his eyes, even more tears streaming down his face, sobbing silently. "P-please... d-don't do this..."

A gunshot.

He expected his vision to go black. He expected to touch his forehead and feel blood. But nothing.

Instead of that he heard a loud scream. The voice sounded familiar. _Too familiar._ He looked over his shoulder, and screamed in fear.

_"SAWAMURA! NO!"_

From that moment on, everything went in slow motion.

Students from his class screaming out in horror.

The teacher calling 119.

The shooter running out of the classroom.

Suga crying so loud the other side of the building could hear him.

It's been 3 years.

Suga had graduated already. But he didn't know what to do with his life.

It felt so... empty, as if there was no happiness in his world.

_Has it always been this silent?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WEEK IS FINALLY OVER AAAAAAA IT KILLED ME PLS SOMEONE SAVE ME  
> anyways my suffering aside, i am so glad for everyone that made time read, leave kudos and comments on my work, i love every single one of you <3


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